Although alcohol prohibition ended in America 93 years ago, I recently found myself searching the darkest depths of Amazon for a decent way to carry small amounts of bourbon discreetly in public.
The typical flask has always been in any good alky’s repertoire. These small, metal, screw-top containers exist as almost an anachronism these days. They bring back images of speak easy culture, drunk Santa Clauses from Miracle on 34th Street (the original!), and the Podunk sheriff’s deputy who can’t hold his liquor.
Nowadays, bars and drinking establishments are everywhere. Living in the Philadelphia area, tailgating is a way of life. Unfortunately, we still don’t have the ability to drink wherever we want, and thus comes the secret pleasure of drinking where you’re not supposed to.
If you’ve always dreamed of drinking in parks, on beaches, in movie theaters, or watching your quaint town’s shoddy Thanksgiving Day parade, then I would surely suggest immediate investment in a disposable flask.
Most states have rules against drinking in public, however, so your mileage may vary. Please take this into account before engaging in any flask-related outdoor or indoor activities.
The best place I’ve seen to buy these disposable flasks is on Amazon. Most of them come in packs of 3-5 and range in price from $9-$20. These are the flasks that I decided to purchase and I even did you a solid by including a requisite Amazon affiliate link to help you decide. Wow, I’m a nice guy.
My suggestion would be to pick up a few of these bad boys, fill them with your favorite liquor and decide whether your venue of choice requires your flask to be gently placed in your back pocket or hidden down your pants.
Places where a back pocket would suffice:
- Movie theaters
- Local parades
- Bars (if you’re a cheap fuck)
- Inner city stoops
Places where you should consider stuffing the flask in your pants/shoes/bra:
- Major sporting events
- Bars with door men
- Night clubs
- Basically anywhere you’ll be patted down
Also, if you’re too broke or cheap or embarrassed to walk around sipping out of a flask, there’s always the trusty water bottle filled with clear liquor. Vodka or gin works wonders on these occasions.
Trust me, drinking outside on a nice day is always a wise choice.